Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
