Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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