So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
