i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
