and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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