she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
