I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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