awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
organizing the empties. That sober.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
