i just google imaged poop.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
