I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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