I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Define "chronic" masturbator.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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