Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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