we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
