I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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