I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
