I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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