I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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