Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
