she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
