needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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