Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't notice because vodka
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
