so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
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At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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