went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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