Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
