He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
