fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
