I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
