Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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