Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
