he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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