Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
