garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
