i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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