Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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