I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
