She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
