why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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