she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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