In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
