She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
