I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize