i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
