hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
