But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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