see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize