you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize