Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
