He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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