Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
