like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
