Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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