remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
