I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize