he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
