He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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