Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
