Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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