maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
