For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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