maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
