is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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