wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize